showing up….empty handed

Ever hear something several times, and then one time, you hear it again…and it just clicks?  I have moments like this all the time.  Growing up, my mother said my little sister and I had “selective hearing”– we would only hear what we wanted to hear (i.e., “yes, you can do x,y, and z“) and we would ignore the rest  (i.e., “clean your room, do your homework…“).

Some of us don’t change much beyond our child-like “selective hearing” with God. We listen to the things we want to hear and sift out the things we want to ignore.

I am guilty of doing this…but God doesn’t leave me alone just because I try to ignore.  He speaks to me when I’m reading the Word.  He speaks when I am singing praise and worship.  He speaks through sisters in Christ.  He pursues me, despite my selective hearing.

Over the past several weeks, I questioned where the Lord had me planted in ministry….doubting what He was doing and how He was using me because I felt unprepared.  I prayed about it, asking the Lord for direction and wisdom…and He has more than provided.  The heart of my prayer, “Lead me Lord, wherever you want me; I have no idea how to do this…I am empty handed, so it’s ALL You.”

I opened myself up to God’s grace leading– and put aside childish ways of selective hearing.

And then one night, while doing my Bible study, I read Paul’s letter to Timothy and this struck me, “And of this gospel I was appointed a hearld and an apostle and a teacher” (2 Timothy 1:11).  The Lord more than provided when He asked Paul to be obedient as a herald, apostle and teacher— I could be confident that He would provide for me in the same way.   Paul instructs Timothy– and the Lord instructs all– “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline So do not be ashamed to testify about out Lord, or ashamed of me His prisoner” (2 Timothy 1: 7-8).

And if this wasn’t enough to shore up my confidence…this past Sunday, during worship I got another dose of reassurance.  We sang, Majesty (Here I Am)…my heart broke again to the promises of God:

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands

Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

I pray that today you will go confidently, empty handed…broken for obedience…allow the Lord to fill you with His grace, understanding and provision.


2 Responses to “showing up….empty handed”

  1. 1 Ry
    October 27, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    The Lord will always equip you to do the task He has for you.

  2. November 29, 2009 at 4:47 am

    I agree with Ryan, the Lord will equip you and prepare you and give you the right words as you are His agent, conquering hearts and minds for the Lord.

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